I called her at 2pm.  I always called at 2pm.  It's what I did.  The only thing strange is she didn't answer this time.
I walked up to her work front door, and saw the ambulance "That's lame, hope everyone is OK."  All I could think of was what her reaction to my new clothes would be.  I owed my mother money.  I ALWAYS owed her money, because I was a stupid high school kid with more wants than funds as most kids. I bought new clothes today and would inevitably get yelled at for shopping instead of paying her back.  Right on.  Fair enough. It was a cute shirt though.
I walked in and there was the police officer and paramedic.  "Your mother is very very sick, you need to go to the hospital."
Huh.
Why would they say that?  Why is her boyfriend here?  He sat on the couch looking bewildered.  I guess he found her dead.  He didn't tell me that until later.
I was 18 years old.
I sat down on the floor and called my boyfriend and best friend to come meet me at the hospital.  I called my brother to come too. When I got there I was met by a priest.  Why did I still think there was no way this was happening?  Maybe a priest meets all the patients families?  My best friend knew that wasn't the case because when the priest came out to meet them they took off immediately.  I guess other people know when bad things are near.
"Your mother passed away." I hit the wall with my forearm.  It was a bit surreal and like a movie.  Like I was some lost little girl who lost her mother.  Problem was I was some lost little girl who lost her mother,
My friend lost his father last week, and his wife lost her mom last year.  The shocking similarity was that the second I saw them both in their grief, in their 30's.  They both looked as little children.  Both successful doctors, with careers, and adult lives, when losing their parents looked as children. 
To think, I was just a child.
It was a nice day I remember and walked outside the ER.  I dropped to my knees and the only thought was hoping no one would see me.  I was so hurt that I thought I would die there, but didn't want my reaction to effect others.  I am hurt, please don't you hurt too. I need to fall, I need to let out the pressure on my chest and in my heart, but please don't look.
Her boyfriend finally showed up and sat next to me in silence on a sidewalk curb.  I called her sister who yelled at me when I told her she was dead.  I just handed the phone to him.  Fuck you. I'm the kid.  You suck.
Then Aaron came.  He pulled into the parking lot and I lost my soul to go somewhere safe.  Like my soul was too scared to face him so she left and the shell of me went to him.  This shell of Laura that was like a coat of armour.  "She's dead." I grabbed him and he took off toward the street.  Later to find out he was going into traffic but stopped at the last minute.  My soul summoned some courage as the team of family counsellors congregated in the ER doorway to try to help.  We looked at them with a fear and hatred in our eyes, like they were at fault for her death.  They stay there waiting for us, and we knew we had to leave.  We silently looked at each other, got in the car and left.  That was the moment we knew we were forever alone.  Forever together, and forever different.