Lighting sparklers for Christmas with my kids in the courtyard. The smell immediately takes me to the Lake. My grandparent's summer cottage, that we spent our entire childhoods visiting.
The sparklers, the snakes on the wooden steps, the bigger fireworks for the bigger kids.
Dusk, the mosquitos attacking, Grandma's Skin So Soft which never worked, but we applied liberally anyways. Grandpa in his black leather chair with a small glass bowl of peanuts. Readers Digest, Polenta, and sausages, the lunch bell.
Lying on the single bed with my feet on the wood, playing the drums on the wood leading up the stair case. The velvet blanket on my bed, the squeaky springs.
Grandma's sewing machine, with the drawers of buttons, fishing on the dock. Getting a splinter and grandpa taking you to the office, putting on his head lamp magnifier. Thinking having said splinter removed is torture. Happy to be spending alone time with grandpa none the less.
The smell in the building, the old baby things. Sawdust, the smell of sawdust.
Playing on the potters wheel, wishing it would spin faster.
The sailboat, and the funny bugs that would sun themselves on it. Those moth things that stuck to everything. Wooden ducks. Spotting Loons.
Grandmas oatmeal with half and half and brown sugar. Green beans from the vegetable garden, grandpas Jeep. (I wanted that Jeep! May have fuelled my now obsession with them.)
The sound the water makes when it hits the bottom of the canoe, the water that splashed on you from the ores, feeling terrible when you get too tired and Grandpa had to row you all the way home.
The sound the car made going down the driveway, the linoleum in the back hall. Lying on the kitchen floor tracing the squares with my finger.
Always thinking there are bears outside after it got dark.
The hummingbirds, the light catchers, the tiny things that grandma kept.
Vanilla wafers under grandmas pillow when we left.
Her bedroom, and it being off limits to the kids, so when I got to enter, it was almost like a secret cave. Magical and smelled nice. The timers on the bedpost, the doilies, and nice pyjamas.
Big hanging pots of flowers that didn't smell so nice, but looked amazing, the feeling of the sun chairs with the hot soft mesh.
Quiet.
Tuesday 24 December 2013
Tuesday 17 December 2013
Lego "Friends" is bullshit
I am not hard core feminist. I like that men and women are different, and think those differences should be embraced, not demolished.
However, lately it seems the toy world is not only dividing my kids by gender, but pummelling it into them, and it's getting ridicules.
I was really excited Lego was coming out with a more "girly" version of Lego. It was always very much my brothers toy, and I was happy to put some of that engineering creativity to my daughter, whom is highly intelligent. She however, DOES love pink. This love was not taught. I am not overly feminine, and her brother is her idol, so where this love came from is a bit unknown to me.
I was excited that girls could have those stupid little people with cylinder heads, and could now sit for hours using their brains to create cars, and planes like their male counterparts.... Lego Friends however, is anything but that..... Lego Friends is bullshit.
Where to start? Yep, it's a bit pink, and that says to my very feminine daughter "Hooray" So I am good with that, however upon opening the box I was a bit horrified. There are no cylindrical women, but actual dolls, with disturbing hip to waist ratios. Even my husband noticed how scary skinny the girls were. We don't have enough of that? Really? If Barbie were an actual woman, she would be 5'9" tall, have a 39" bust, an 18" waist, 33" hips and a size 3 shoe. Seems practical.
The second horror for my eyes, is that right in the ad I am looking at now, the only scenes for my daughter to construct are; City Café, City Pool, Pet Salon, Beach Buggy, and Olivia's Newborn Foal....... Well I know as a female, my day isn't complete without a trip to the Pet Salon.
Haven's Lego is pretty awesome, he has an airplane, a dump truck, multiple cars, and actual homes and buildings to create. Building "actual things" Makes a bit of sense.
The third horror is that the city is called "Heartlake City." Well that's great, because girls couldn't possibly live in cities called "Gotham, Metropolis, or Cleveland." Silly thought.
Olivia's Newborn Foal is great. Why build an actual farm, when the super-skinny Olivia can feed her foal a carrot. It might be cooler to get Olivia herself a carrot... or better yet a cheeseburger. You do know boys can like horses right? My super masculine, highly intelligent and successful husband had a horse. Jumped on a friends horse one day and jumped that bitch over a fence.... Now THAT is manly. But make sure Joliet doesn't waste her time with building actual barns or housing structures. Foals are where it's at for a successful career.
I have my own bitchings about the new "boys'" Lego as well. I mean, the three advertised under the bullshit Lego Friends, completely advertised separately as to not mistake gender roles are; "Battle at the black gate, The Wizard battle, and Pirate ship Ambush." Not thinking they live at Heartlake City! What happened to just building cool stuff?
9 our of 10 Engineers are male. That's stupid. And I am thinking there is a reason. I take great pride in being a wife and mother. I find it a humans highest calling as a matter of fact. If my girls chose to not go that route, that's cool. Let's make sure they have some foundations to become successful in any career they want. I get Joliet loves princesses, but we don't know Harry or what's his name, and that shit doesn't actually look fun. I would rather she has a career she can be proud of and that uses a bit more of her brain than feeding a foal, playing at the pool, or sitting on a yacht. Yes, the Lego Friends Yacht! Haven will build the Search and Rescue Boats to come save the poor girls, who when they fall over the side of their yacht, their super sized heads, and lack of body fat, or any muscle tone what-so-ever, they will inevitably drown. So good thing Haven is there to rescue them.
However, lately it seems the toy world is not only dividing my kids by gender, but pummelling it into them, and it's getting ridicules.
I was really excited Lego was coming out with a more "girly" version of Lego. It was always very much my brothers toy, and I was happy to put some of that engineering creativity to my daughter, whom is highly intelligent. She however, DOES love pink. This love was not taught. I am not overly feminine, and her brother is her idol, so where this love came from is a bit unknown to me.
I was excited that girls could have those stupid little people with cylinder heads, and could now sit for hours using their brains to create cars, and planes like their male counterparts.... Lego Friends however, is anything but that..... Lego Friends is bullshit.
Where to start? Yep, it's a bit pink, and that says to my very feminine daughter "Hooray" So I am good with that, however upon opening the box I was a bit horrified. There are no cylindrical women, but actual dolls, with disturbing hip to waist ratios. Even my husband noticed how scary skinny the girls were. We don't have enough of that? Really? If Barbie were an actual woman, she would be 5'9" tall, have a 39" bust, an 18" waist, 33" hips and a size 3 shoe. Seems practical.
The second horror for my eyes, is that right in the ad I am looking at now, the only scenes for my daughter to construct are; City Café, City Pool, Pet Salon, Beach Buggy, and Olivia's Newborn Foal....... Well I know as a female, my day isn't complete without a trip to the Pet Salon.
Haven's Lego is pretty awesome, he has an airplane, a dump truck, multiple cars, and actual homes and buildings to create. Building "actual things" Makes a bit of sense.
The third horror is that the city is called "Heartlake City." Well that's great, because girls couldn't possibly live in cities called "Gotham, Metropolis, or Cleveland." Silly thought.
Olivia's Newborn Foal is great. Why build an actual farm, when the super-skinny Olivia can feed her foal a carrot. It might be cooler to get Olivia herself a carrot... or better yet a cheeseburger. You do know boys can like horses right? My super masculine, highly intelligent and successful husband had a horse. Jumped on a friends horse one day and jumped that bitch over a fence.... Now THAT is manly. But make sure Joliet doesn't waste her time with building actual barns or housing structures. Foals are where it's at for a successful career.
I have my own bitchings about the new "boys'" Lego as well. I mean, the three advertised under the bullshit Lego Friends, completely advertised separately as to not mistake gender roles are; "Battle at the black gate, The Wizard battle, and Pirate ship Ambush." Not thinking they live at Heartlake City! What happened to just building cool stuff?
9 our of 10 Engineers are male. That's stupid. And I am thinking there is a reason. I take great pride in being a wife and mother. I find it a humans highest calling as a matter of fact. If my girls chose to not go that route, that's cool. Let's make sure they have some foundations to become successful in any career they want. I get Joliet loves princesses, but we don't know Harry or what's his name, and that shit doesn't actually look fun. I would rather she has a career she can be proud of and that uses a bit more of her brain than feeding a foal, playing at the pool, or sitting on a yacht. Yes, the Lego Friends Yacht! Haven will build the Search and Rescue Boats to come save the poor girls, who when they fall over the side of their yacht, their super sized heads, and lack of body fat, or any muscle tone what-so-ever, they will inevitably drown. So good thing Haven is there to rescue them.
Friday 6 December 2013
Fatty Mc.Fat
I am Fatty Mc. Fat
So book sales on release date are poo. I took it completely personally. I thought my Aussie friends were really supporting me, when in reality they are being supportive in thought. But, but, I would have supported YOU, and bought YOUR book. I mean, why not think it's cool to even own a crap book written by a friend?
That's cool, but the book is $20. In Oz we blow our nose with $20. No literally, this country is so expensive you could never imagine. I went back to America and got a bagel and an orange juice at the airport. She said "That'll be $6.00" I was all "Did you get the orange juice?" She goes "You would pay $6.00 for a BAGEL??" Honey I would pay $6.00 for the orange juice!!!
It's cool, I'm trucking on.
I love food. That's why I wrote the book. For a skinny chick, my love affair with food has been an amazing love affair journey, and THAT is why I wrote the book.
I was raised right, and never drank soda, or had candy. I ate well, had a mother that cooked our meals. And then the divorce, and her work schedule, and my fathers absence, and my inability to think I am good enough, or pretty or thin. Then her death and my alcohol addiction. I went through the motions. I got heavy as a mammoth, and witnessed first hand what it feels like to be huge. I know the cycle of hating yourself for eating, then feeling so bad, and eating to make the pain stop. I got that.
In my new life with food, I don't just feed my mouth, or my stomach, I feed my soul. HOW CORNEY! I know, it's so true.
I LOVE food. I refuse to eat what I don't adore, and this was especially true when I was pregnant. My husband will never again buy me cake as I would cry if he got the wrong one. CRY!!!!!!
It's just so different and beautiful now. I cook what I desire, and feed my family food of love. Celery and rice cakes to keep up thin? Hell to the NO! I feed us amazing, exquisite, violently delicious food. I savour it, taste it, linger in it. When I have a 3 year old close her eyes with happiness of taste my heart jumps. "My mom is the best cooker!" I got tonight. I am the best cooker :)
I have gotten from a binge eating, eating for self loating, eating to numb myself Fatty Mc. Fat. To a thin, healthy, cook, who eats better than any chubba out there. I eat amazing, because I found a healthy relationship with food. DIETS DON'T WORK. Diets end. And being some super skinny size 2 is not a healthy outlook. "But I was a size 4 in high school." Bitch you 40, let that goooooo. Be happy with you now. Healthy doesn't need to be anorexic, it needs to be fed to content without excess. That's it. It looks different on all of us, so don't look at my size, or Miranda Kerr size, or your best friends size to be your size. Stop it. JUST STOP IT!!!!!
Eating.
Sometimes I don't eat breakfast because I'm not hungry in the morning. That's it. Am I hungry? Nope? OK then not gonna eat. "80% of obese people skip breakfast" Well I'm not obese. Are you skipping to "save calories?" Or are you not hungry? HUGE difference.
Lunch? I eat a sandwich, or half a sandwich, or tortilla and cheese, or whatever I want. But after half the meal I ask if I am really still hungry?
My dinner? My dinner is shared with my family. The epicenter of my universe. I will give them my love in this meal and it is planned with care.
I write weekly menus and shopping lists (In the friggin' book) So I save money and time enough to do this.
I pick food and recipes that make me salivate. Entice me to the center. THAT is what I cook.
I wont eat food that I don't love, and when I do I get teary. I get angry! We only have so many meals in our lives, so why not eat food that is amazing?!
I now have learned to cook, because after a few "omg Laura, this is psycho good." You get a kick from cooking. You keep trying harder and harder to get your family to give you the thumbs up and empty plate. It's OK to learn to cook for vanity! Hell, whatever works.
I don't look at food with my kids as other mothers do. Kids go through growth spurt and have ZERO misconceptions about food. No matter how good or high calorie, or fatty, they are programmed to eat when they are hungry, and stop when they are full. Their palates are virgin, and enjoy pure, clean tastes. YOU have issues with food, they don't. Some days my kids eat 4 meals a day, they finish their plates and ask for more. Most days, they eat 3 bites at dinner, and bring home half their lunch. This is normal. This is listening to your body, and only eating when you need. The Food Pyramid was made my Kellogg. If you can't digest that sentence, please ponder it until you do. A corporation profiting in FOOD, can not tell you what to eat. Anyways it's batshit upside down. Fuck a food pyramid. Fuck a Three meal a day and 2 snack consisting of 3 veg, 4 fruit, 1 meat diet. You eat what your body tells it to when it tells it to. Emotions have no place in food. Except when you can love it.
When you love every meal you eat, you are never deprived by a smaller portion, because your brain knows the next meal will be just as amazing as the last. This is the best food you ever had? That's cool! Next meal will be just as good, so eating more than you need is unnecessary.
I decided not to be a celebrity chef, or a nutritionist, or a doctor. I am just a mom, and an ex-fatty, that figured it out with non-bullshit ideas and ways to live. That's it.
I hope you can get to this place too. And if you need help? laurasfoodfight.com, and $20 can help!
Merry Christmas!
Laura
So book sales on release date are poo. I took it completely personally. I thought my Aussie friends were really supporting me, when in reality they are being supportive in thought. But, but, I would have supported YOU, and bought YOUR book. I mean, why not think it's cool to even own a crap book written by a friend?
That's cool, but the book is $20. In Oz we blow our nose with $20. No literally, this country is so expensive you could never imagine. I went back to America and got a bagel and an orange juice at the airport. She said "That'll be $6.00" I was all "Did you get the orange juice?" She goes "You would pay $6.00 for a BAGEL??" Honey I would pay $6.00 for the orange juice!!!
It's cool, I'm trucking on.
I love food. That's why I wrote the book. For a skinny chick, my love affair with food has been an amazing love affair journey, and THAT is why I wrote the book.
I was raised right, and never drank soda, or had candy. I ate well, had a mother that cooked our meals. And then the divorce, and her work schedule, and my fathers absence, and my inability to think I am good enough, or pretty or thin. Then her death and my alcohol addiction. I went through the motions. I got heavy as a mammoth, and witnessed first hand what it feels like to be huge. I know the cycle of hating yourself for eating, then feeling so bad, and eating to make the pain stop. I got that.
In my new life with food, I don't just feed my mouth, or my stomach, I feed my soul. HOW CORNEY! I know, it's so true.
I LOVE food. I refuse to eat what I don't adore, and this was especially true when I was pregnant. My husband will never again buy me cake as I would cry if he got the wrong one. CRY!!!!!!
It's just so different and beautiful now. I cook what I desire, and feed my family food of love. Celery and rice cakes to keep up thin? Hell to the NO! I feed us amazing, exquisite, violently delicious food. I savour it, taste it, linger in it. When I have a 3 year old close her eyes with happiness of taste my heart jumps. "My mom is the best cooker!" I got tonight. I am the best cooker :)
I have gotten from a binge eating, eating for self loating, eating to numb myself Fatty Mc. Fat. To a thin, healthy, cook, who eats better than any chubba out there. I eat amazing, because I found a healthy relationship with food. DIETS DON'T WORK. Diets end. And being some super skinny size 2 is not a healthy outlook. "But I was a size 4 in high school." Bitch you 40, let that goooooo. Be happy with you now. Healthy doesn't need to be anorexic, it needs to be fed to content without excess. That's it. It looks different on all of us, so don't look at my size, or Miranda Kerr size, or your best friends size to be your size. Stop it. JUST STOP IT!!!!!
Eating.
Sometimes I don't eat breakfast because I'm not hungry in the morning. That's it. Am I hungry? Nope? OK then not gonna eat. "80% of obese people skip breakfast" Well I'm not obese. Are you skipping to "save calories?" Or are you not hungry? HUGE difference.
Lunch? I eat a sandwich, or half a sandwich, or tortilla and cheese, or whatever I want. But after half the meal I ask if I am really still hungry?
My dinner? My dinner is shared with my family. The epicenter of my universe. I will give them my love in this meal and it is planned with care.
I write weekly menus and shopping lists (In the friggin' book) So I save money and time enough to do this.
I pick food and recipes that make me salivate. Entice me to the center. THAT is what I cook.
I wont eat food that I don't love, and when I do I get teary. I get angry! We only have so many meals in our lives, so why not eat food that is amazing?!
I now have learned to cook, because after a few "omg Laura, this is psycho good." You get a kick from cooking. You keep trying harder and harder to get your family to give you the thumbs up and empty plate. It's OK to learn to cook for vanity! Hell, whatever works.
I don't look at food with my kids as other mothers do. Kids go through growth spurt and have ZERO misconceptions about food. No matter how good or high calorie, or fatty, they are programmed to eat when they are hungry, and stop when they are full. Their palates are virgin, and enjoy pure, clean tastes. YOU have issues with food, they don't. Some days my kids eat 4 meals a day, they finish their plates and ask for more. Most days, they eat 3 bites at dinner, and bring home half their lunch. This is normal. This is listening to your body, and only eating when you need. The Food Pyramid was made my Kellogg. If you can't digest that sentence, please ponder it until you do. A corporation profiting in FOOD, can not tell you what to eat. Anyways it's batshit upside down. Fuck a food pyramid. Fuck a Three meal a day and 2 snack consisting of 3 veg, 4 fruit, 1 meat diet. You eat what your body tells it to when it tells it to. Emotions have no place in food. Except when you can love it.
When you love every meal you eat, you are never deprived by a smaller portion, because your brain knows the next meal will be just as amazing as the last. This is the best food you ever had? That's cool! Next meal will be just as good, so eating more than you need is unnecessary.
I decided not to be a celebrity chef, or a nutritionist, or a doctor. I am just a mom, and an ex-fatty, that figured it out with non-bullshit ideas and ways to live. That's it.
I hope you can get to this place too. And if you need help? laurasfoodfight.com, and $20 can help!
Merry Christmas!
Laura
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