Same assholes, different reactions=different results

So this last month was cool/shit, in the way that I asked for a life lesson, publicly on Facebook, and got one right in the face.  That exact life lesson, and now I need to talk it through.  I need to talk EVERY emotion through, so sorry, but suck an egg....that's just me.
Life lesson on reacting and how your reaction changes the exact same situation.
I realize now how we can force people to act a way we want them to.  2 examples I remember.  My best friend since 15.  We were at  a concert and literally out of nowhere he says "So are you going to take off now?"
"Wtf?  I'm not going anywhere. Why did you say that?"
"Because you always take off.  You always go hang out with other people."
"You know you are starting a fight right now don't you?"
"No I'm not, you always leave, I will just sit here and wait for you to find someone else to hang out with."
It was glaringly clear, lights flashing in my face what he was doing.  He was trying to make me act a certain way.  My friend was deciding I was going to leave, and if I didn't, he was going to try to make me just so he could be right. I am the bad guy who leaves him.  After this becomes an argument,  I end up leaving, going to hang out with someone else.  Just on cue.
The second example, was this guy I met on Facebook, we're talking 9 years ago or something. We became chatting friends, and out of nowhere, he gets weird depressed and was asking when I was going to block him.  EVERYONE leaves him, and everyone hates him.  Long story short, I end up blocking him after he turns weird.  It's almost just a "poor me" attempt to make him validate his crappy life? Does that make sense?  We were just friends and I was kind to you.  You want to be sad and validate your sadness and loneliness so you are going to push me away to validate how shitty and alone you are, making me another jerk who left you.
So this months life lesson I asked for; how do I not react to people when they are nasty to me.  I am REALLY good at telling people off, and have an insult vocabulary to make the Devil himself proud.  Don't mess with me.  However, EVERY time I react, I feel worse.  I stay mad, I get angry for long periods of time, I hurt very deeply and it doesn't stop.  How do I do this.
Now I am going to go out on a limb and say I haven't tried to hurt someones feelings in a LONG time.  I haven't thrown the first punch on someone in God knows how long.  Actually, I haven't really had conflict with anyone in a few years. (Besides mild friend dilemmas and telling Facebookers to F off.)So when asshole #1 came out of nowhere,  I was a bit shocked.
ASSHOLE #1.  My reaction and the horrible outcome.
Asshole #1 is my older brother Nik.  (sorry for the forthcoming LONG story)
Nik is an older brother who I have never liked.  We are not on the same planet as far as similar.  I mean, as far as 2 humans could be different, so is Nik and I.  Nik is a gamer.  Enough said right?  Highly intelligent, highly narcissistic, very selfish, but it may just be because of his inability to navigate social situations.  I don't know.  I had some really big resentments after my mother died, he just kinda left us there.  Anyways.  I always wanted a brother like the rest of the world has.  I wanted the older brother that cared for his little sister.  Loved her, watched out for her.  I wanted the brother that I could look up to, and annoy, and he was just not that.  He just honestly did not love me.  (cue dad not loving me, and male issues to ensue later in life)
So kinda a big issue in my life.
Mom died, Nik took off, never heard from him again for 5 years.
Nik shows up after Jaxon is like almost 2 "I want to be a family" OK , let's do that. That basically means we are "friends" on Facebook and email each other a "Happy Birthday" Fine.  I never expected anything from him, just kindness. I forgave him for not being who I needed him to be, I accepted his quirks, I tried to be a part of his sons life.  He didn't acknowledge my kids, which hurt, but his loss. I did my best.  I don't like you, but I will respect you!
Few years later. and the start of Asshole #1.
I have not, for literally years, interacted with Nik on Facebook.  I might have liked a few of his photos, but no talking, or comments, no messages or wtf ever.  I wake up, 6am, to a hate email from him........
"I am taking a break from you on Facebook. I don't think ; blah blah blah..."  I don't really remember, but it was listing my flaws as a human being....... out.... of ..... nowhere.
My first reaction, was.... well like everyones, confusion, but then anger.  Who the hell does this guy think he is???  But then the reality I don't speak to him made me even more angry, and if he doesn't like what I post on Facebook, just unfollow me!  He doesn't know me well enough to have any opinion of me! His opinion of me is none of my business to be honest.
MY REACTION and how it ended horribly- My first email, in a literal attempt to make him see it was silly, and to stop the drama was
"LOL"

This was not a good idea.....

Next email was now a hate email of epic proportion about what an idiot child I was and more of what a horrible person I was.

So now...... Blades of fury erupt.  This POS, judgmental, narcissistic, arrogant prick is going to pay.  Cue Laura's anger over the course of like 3 emails.  My anger that he started this fight to me was justified, as HE started it.  (are you seeing it yet?)
HE started the fight, so he deserved every nasty word I said to him.  He needed to know what an actual piece of crap HE is.
Which resulted in more nasty emails from him, which resulted in us still no longer, and never again speaking, and him not allowing me access to my Nephew.
What happened here?
My reaction, made me into the person he accused me of being.  A childish, idiot.  A childish idiot that even though I may not been acting like one before, I sure was acting like one then, and it just justified that first email he wrote.  He gets to walk away with his head held high, that I actually AM a childish idiot.  And to this day I am pissed.  Honestly I am heartbroken.  I lost my nephew, and it just feels so nasty inside. I still, months later will be cleaning and just get a pang of anger in my chest, that that SOB started this fight, and that I still want to call him and chew him out.... I am still SO hurt... I am hurt probably because he got to be right.  This was when I asked for help to learn the lesson of how I react.

ASSHOLE #2
I have been taking Isiah on as a 4th child for 5 months.  He eats 2 meals a day at my house, gets dropped off at 7am, goes home at 7pm, and sleeps over most nights.  His parent's are alcoholic and on drugs, so he just came over one day and hasn't left.  We all love him so much, he is the older brother Jaxon has been wishing for his entire life.
I have had 3 interactions with the mother, and after the 1st one I told James as we walked away "That woman is dangerous."  People who do not take personal responsibility for their lives and actions are literally the most dangerous people on earth in my eyes.  Throw in drugs and alcohol, and you have issues.  They are squatting in a 2 million dollar home, and most of the interaction was about how hard her life was...... She didn't work, and sat in her room most of the time or slept.  (information from her husband and the child.)
I didn't respect her, and I was very concerned to interact with her.  I tried so hard however to always offer her support.  I quit drinking and smoking, and kindly offered her my way to quit if she had any interest, would offer if she wanted to go to yoga with me, go for a bike ride.  I tried.  I also knew I couldnt be near her when she was drinking so I decided just to love Isiah and that could be as close as I could get.  He did everything we did, we have a pretty fun life and he just came with us.  Football games, and beach trips, overnights in hotels and nice meals out.  We spoiled his face off because we loved him and just wanted him to have some fun with us.
A few months ago I started getting 1am drunk nasty text messages from her.  Nastiness about her husband, or she was leaving to go to a womans shelter.  I would never respond, or just text back to ask  if I could help her.
One day, James shows me a text from her that said "Sorry I'm texting you, it seems Laura's having problems at the moment."  He obviously didn't reply, because texting my husband is wildly inappropriate. I find out later she heard Izzy say we were fighting, so she was trying to infiltrate my marriage and have James say something bad about me.  She wanted there to be issues in my marriage to justify the issues in hers.  Obviously he didn't reply, as James has already learned this life lesson.  She started getting very dominant to her husband and Isiah and would literally break our plans as we were walking out the door.  Isiah wouldn't go to school if I didn't bring him, and some days he just wouldn't go to school for a week.  I started getting VERY concerned and scared of what was about to happen.  I knew she was screwed up.
Last week it finally came..... The text message I was waiting for..... She basically wrote about what the kids were out doing was not OK with her...... Isiah went home 20 minutes prior to ask if he could go.  They left, and I get this message that it's not OK and that I was a bad parent basically....... You just told your son it was OK..... wtf.......
I knew the moment it came, sadly I had to end the relationship with Isiah because I couldn't do it anymore.  This woman was sick and she was dangerous and I couldn't do it.  I slowly replied I was sorry, but I can't be a part of whatever was going on, if she needed to talk to Izzy, they have really good deals on cell phones.
All....hell.....broke loose...... But this time I did something different.  I didn't react.
I didn't engage her.  
Was I mad?  FOR THE LOVE OF GOD I WAS MAD>  I just raised your son for 5 months while you got drunk!  That day I had taken him to get the signatures of an entire AFL team, and we had a beach party!  I have fed him for months, and loved him and cared for him....... But mostly, he was Jaxons best friend and this crazy bitch is about to end all of that.
Vanessa went on a rampage.  There were about 50 text messages about what a POS I was...... I don't know why, because she literally didn't know me.... She called me these names that were so crazy, and sadly just a reflection of herself.  I realized very quickly that she was wildly jealous.  I basically am doing everything she wished she could be doing as a wife, mother, human, but she was incapable and she knew that if she could make me react into this shit person that she would be right and justified to be jealous and hateful towards me.
If I attacked back, then she would be right, that skinny rich girls are awful bitches..........
The text messages went for 2 days, horrible words.  How sorry she felt for my husband.  Not responding sucked.  I wanted to kick her teeth in.  I just didn't respond.  I spoke to people who loved me, and spoke through my hurt.  We pointed out what she was going through and made it make sense why she chose to react that way.  I forgave her, and realized it really must suck to be her.
That day hurt so much, Jaxon was hurt.... He was so devestated and I was so damn angry that she was the cause of this.  I wanted to hurt her.... But I chose not to.  I chose.  To keep my dignity, and react as a Christian is supposed to.  I am not here to fix you, I am here to love you.  If I give you back what crap you gave me, I am no better than you.  I am going to turn the other cheek, walk away, grieve, hurt, and heal.  This is the life lesson.
A week later and sometimes I think about how hurt I am, or how I would sure love to tell her off....what I could say..... But it's going away quickly.  With Nik, it's still there because I lost.  I big time lost.  I am still hurt.  With Vanessa, I won.  I don't have to be who she wants me to be. I am NOT who she wants me to be.
I can walk away with my head held high, and for once, and realizing what it means to have a bit of class.
Hurts will come, but how you react will change everything.

No longer possible

No Longer Possible-
It is no longer possible for me to write a post, highlighting my issues with childhood obesity and have a friend single themselves out and say "That bitch is talking about me." I can no longer single one friend out, because YOU, are so so many.
I have an ISSUE with childhood obesity.
It started when I moved to Australia, and the ultimately thin healthy lifestyle threw me into a tail spin.  being obese was unusual, and growing older watching America friend balloon up, was an interesting experience.  I myself had a huge issue with weight in America, and through experience only, am I now considering myself incredibly well know ledged in all things "health".
YOU have an issue with food, not your kids.
I was at dinner tonight and looked to my left.  A heavily obese women with three kids.  her 8 year old son, already obese, 6 year old son stick thin, and baby in a highchair normal weight.  The baby, had juice in her bottle.
Let's just stick with reality here.
This mother, loves her baby so much, that she only wants her to drink what tastes good.... to her.....
Babies, wether you think so or not, LOVE the taste and thirst quenching refreshment of water.  They don't NEED nor crave sweet drinks.  I promise you that mother loves her kids to death, but she is contributing to their premature death in this exact way.
To my right was a 10 year old, obese kid with a man sized meal and a Fanta soda.  Again, yes it tastes good, but for fuck sake is his 3 minutes of drink enjoyment worth his daily struggle with obesity?
Family ones' oldest was outside trying to play and run around.  Just like all the other kids, but was completely out of breath.  His extra weight from his "mothers love" was dragging him down physically in front of everyone.  Does your child want fried chicken strips and coke?  Or to play with his friends?
Family 2, after his feast and Fanta went to play on his tablet in the corner for the rest of the night.
IF YOUR CHILD IS OBESE IT IS YOUR FAULT.
I know, I know, fuck you Laura, what a bitch.
But the gentle kind hands of "please make better choices" isn't working!
Your babies don't fill their own bottles, and until they are cooking their own meals it's up to us.
But that doesn't mean you put your kids on a diet.  Exactly the opposite!  Again, YOU have an issue with food not them.  There is no good or bad food.  There is just food, and nutrition as our body needs and desires.
YOU get depressed and eat.  So when your 4 year old skins their knee, you may give him a chocolate.  Nope, fucking them up.  Food is not a n anti depressant or a way to make pain go away.
YOU eat when you are happy.  So when your child does something great, you bring them to Mc Donalds. No, that is fucking them up.  Mc Donalds is a sometimes, running too many errands in a day, gotta feed them something food.
YOU have an issue with sweets, so giving them artificial sweeteners instead to make yourself feel better is fucking them up.  Your kids when given sweets in moderation and with the ability to stop eating when ready, do not see sweet food as anything more than sweet food. 
YOU love fried, cure, buttered, cheesed, processed food.  Your children are born loving fresh, pure, natural tastes.  You are fucking them up.  Stop it.  They love an apple.  Just give them a fucking apple.
COOK YOUR MEALS! I understand it is now cheaper to get Mc Donalds than it is to feed a family of 4 at home.  But cheaper now?  Or in 10 years when your kids need a motorized scooter, custom clothes and a fucking sleep apnoea machine?
So I'm sorry.  I'm sorry, that you are feeling like I am singling YOU out, but YOU are too many to single out.  All YOU can do is stop killing your kid with your issues.  If you are obese your child has an 80% chance of being obese.  You want this for them?  Oh hell to the no you don't.
Wanna fix it?  Be KIND to yourself.  Separate your needs from theirs.  Love them with time not food.  Love them with nutrition for their minds and bodies.  Love them from the inside, and take care of yourself.  Take time for yourself.  Get a sitter and spend some time loving you again. 
I don't want to do it anymore.  Keep your issues YOUR issues and leave your precious, beautiful LOVED babies out of it.  You are killing them.
Laura

The History

I don't think I realised until she died what she really bestowed in me.
My single mother, working 2 jobs, instilled values that seemed so normal and everyday. I believed everyone of my age was getting the same lessons at home.

My mother- was amazing.

I now like to speak about your reality being the life you had   growing up.  What you were raised  is what is "normal" to you.  If your parents were divorced, you may not highlight marriage as a priority.  You may see it as dispensable. If your parent's are married for 50 years, marriage may mean something else. 

Religion, racism, alcohol, politics.  What you were brought up with is your normal. 

I was raised different.

My mother kept her last name.  We had a HORRIBLE hyphenated last name that was in total 26 letters long.  I spelled the alphabet to write my name because she refused to take her husbands name. This feminism to me was normal.  Sorry, but when I met a man with a great last name I cheered!

  She was an atheist, who did the most amazing thing by refusing to tell us her beliefs, but challenged us to find out for ourselves. With this, I searched.  High, and low, and in and out to find what I believed, not what she believed.

She worked 2 jobs, and put herself through school and grad school.  She was a single mother of three that worked and gave more than anyone I know.  She loved us.

The most amazing thing she did, which I didn't know until now; was she raised us open-minded.  My mother had gay friends, when gay people were on Oprah.  " I slept with a man!"  It was a talk show subject! 

We were raised in Frog Town, a predominantly black area, and I was a minority at my school.  This was my normal.  Being gay, or another color than myself....was normal. 

The problem, if you want to call it that, is that as I grew up, I didn't get that things like racism, or hatred toward a group because of anything beside their own hate...eg the KKK.  It's OK to hate a group that hates yea? Even existed?  I wasn't rasied to hate ANYONE.  I knew gay people, and adopted people, black people, and people of religions I can't even spell.  It was a non issue since I could speak.

By 8 I was shocked that racism even existed! 

I didn't believe people could dislike another group of people, because I was raised so well not to see things like that. 
He's an ass because he's an ass.  It has nothing to do with him being gay, black, Asian, Jewish or Indian.  THAT dude is an ass.
 
With her gone now, I wonder where she got it.  I wonder where that seed was planted in her, because I am sure she wasn't raised with it.  How could she have been?

So I get the different kid. The kid some people hate, and the kid some people don't "get" and I know God did that to keep him alive.  This all started before me, and with my mother. 

I wish I could talk to her about it now as an adult.  Say thank you! 

When people tell me "Thank you for supporting your child" I just fall over.  Well fucking "duh" I support him., but it isn't the case for most people. 

I did it too though.  I put Haven in the most diverse school I could, and plan to raise them all the way my mother did with that regard.  I just still always wonder why sexuality, race, religion are still even a "THING."  Why the fuck do we spend so much time on such stupid shit?  We eat, poop, die exactly the same.  We are one. 

We have so much to do right now as a generation of living beings, that I can't believe things like this Arizona bigot law even comes up.  REALLY?  What year are we in? 

I don't see the world as other people see it.

Thank you, to my mom.  I wish I would have known earlier how teaching your children equality and love changes an entire nation. 

I love you....unless you suck.  No other conditions apply to that.

Laura

Letter to My 13 Year Old Self

Letter to my 13 year old self-

 

Dear Child, calm down.  You are going to be OK.  I am sorry for your times till now, but it will be Ok in the end.

 

Dear child, stop fighting.  You are not in a war with the world.  You are not needing to be in a war with yourself, it is going to get better. Stop hating everyone for what you went through, it wasn’t the world, and the whole world isn’t’ against you.  If you could see the ones waiting to help and love you, you wouldn’t be so focused on those who don’t. Especially your mother.

 

Dear child, your body is perfect.  It doesn’t need to cause you shame.  Silly little twit, you are smooth, thin, and gorgeous in your youth.  Please stop hating it.  It was a gift from God.  What a waste to hate yourself for your looks.  This is not going to change, and is not helpful to anyone.  The girls that called you ugly are only insecure themselves. You are worthy of eating, you are worthy of wearing a bathing suit, you are worthy of having three meals a day.  Your vision of perfection is not realistic.  It is hurtful to your mind.  Those women don’t exist, and you are perfect the way you are. Even if you were a hideous ogre, you are still owrthy of love and will find it.

The reality of your beauty will come, long after it has begun to fade.  When the stretch marks of your children become marks of pride.  When your forehead begins to wrinkle with the questioning faces you have made in learning new things.  With the smile lines around your eyes that were created….from smiling.

 

Dear child, stop hating men and marriage.  You do not have a good model of what a happy family is.  This does not mean you can’t learn a template all your own for a family. You have not seen happy, but you will create it later.  You hate men because they have not treated you well to this point.  You have been taken advantage of, and this wasn’t your fault.  You have put yourself in scary situations because you don’t feel worthy of happiness or love.  This is shit, so stop it.  Stop hurting yourself through men, and in turn hurting them back.

 

Please stop believing you are destined for nothing.  Nik was smarter than you, but did not come out with more knowledge.  Aaron is cuter than you, but did not come out with a better looking spouse.  The way you compare yourselves to them is so pointless in the end.  Their opinions of you do not make your reality, so stop it.  Just stop. You will learn your brothers are just people.  They have their good and their bad, and they are to be respected for things, and despised for things….but mostly respected.  They came from the same mould, just not the same Jello. You are destined for such amazing things girl.  If you would just follow your dreams, from the beginning.  Child, you will live them, just have a bit of self worth to do so.  You are worthy of happiness.

 

Dear child stop hurting others in a bid to make you feel better.  The thing’s you regret are not that you didn’t fight harder, but that you hurt others.  Stop with the loud mouth, big shot, fight the world attitude.  You will regret those moments, and any pain you caused to others.  When you look back, you will see the missed opportunities to help others, the love you could have offered, and the hurt you caused instead.  You are just fighting against your own insecurities.  Child, please stop fighting.  You don’t see the pain you are carrying.  You don’t even see the hurt you carry, you just have flipped it to hatred, and it does nothing but hurt others.

Dear child, there is a God.  He’s the one who changes it around for you in the end.  I pray you knew him sooner, but it all comes in the right time.  You are so afraid of death, and that all is a waste of time.  You aren’t dead for at LEAST 19 years, so chill out about that.  Your obsession, is mostly linked to your feeling of not being worthy of life.  You are.

Child, you are sad for your children.  You say “ I feel sorry for whatever poor soul decides to be my kid” and this is wrong.  You will have children that even if you may not be worthy of them, you will love their faces off.  You will be a good mother.  Not the best, but you will realise there is no “Perfect” mom, and that’s OK.  You will see that as a mother, you can love them, and do the right thing for them; even when the odds are stacked against you. You will find a consistency in you, you never knew existed.  You will learn to apologise, and you will learn to put your selfish self….second.  Have fun with your self centred ways now sweetie, because they fly right out the door in time!

Child forgive them… ALL OF THEM.  Forgive those that make bad choices, and hurt you.  Forgive every human that crosses your path, because if you don’t, the resentment just hangs on you like mud. If you can know that other people are just living their experiences, maybe you can see the good in those people.  Maybe, you could see that you are just living your experiences, and not be so hurt as well.  You don’t need to hate yourself for your choices, just forgive YOU, and learn, and move on. Please child forgive yourself.

Dear child, your life gets better.  I don’t want to tell you how much better, as you may not do anything, and just hang out and wait for 26.  You need to go through your struggles, and you need to learn.  Just be patient.

You are good.  You are kind. You are strong. You are beautiful.  You are worthy.

My 7 year old can't get married

Right...

Look at your prep kid, and tell them they can't get married.

Haven can sit in the front seat now.  He's 7.  I was like 5 when I could sit in the front, Your mom was your seat belt with her arm out. I remember as I have siblings and that was a death match, cage fight, gauging each others eyes out to sit in the front.  He's cool, as he's got 4 years on his sister.  Haven can sit in the front.  Actually I love it.  I can look at him.  I can see my kid as I drive!  When we are alone and driving together we have the best time.  My best times, are when we put on loud music, I drive and dance, Haven mocks me looking like a mentally challenged rhino. Whatever Haven, I was SO cool.... emphasis on WAS.

Today was hard.

Macklemore has this song."Same Love."  It's about being gay.  And Haven loves it.  I am pretty sure the reason was completely sub-conscious as, until our drive  he really didn't get what it ment.  He has a stupid 7 year old playlist that when we are alone in the car he requests in order. 
1. "Party Rockers" Red Foo"
2. "Red Hands" I don't remember who
3. "Same Love." Macklemore,

We got to number three, and we drove as usual.  Today was to the pet shop.

" You always grab my hand when we listen to this song!  You grab my hand at the exact same part!!!"  Haven said.  He was annoyed. 
I do.  Every time she says " I can't change, even if I tried."  I grab his hand when he's in the front seat.  I grab his hand because of every bigoted, horrible, ignorant rant I have ever heard about homosexual and transgender people.  I grab his hand because my kid can't change who he is and always has been.  Even if he tried, even if he wanted to.
"Why do you do that?"

I pulled into the pet shop parking lot, song still in the background.
"Do you know what this song is about?" I asked
"No."  He said, with very curious eyes.
For the first time in my life, I had to look at my 7 year old and tell him. "You can't get married."
My eyes filled with tears and my heart sunk to my stomach.  What the fuck did I just say to him.  Haven looked blankly at me.  His head cocked to the side, and then his eyes closed.  " This song is about the fact that, because you were born who you are, people like you can't get married." 

I had never said it out loud.

Haven did as all men do.  He sucked it in.  He turned his head, and closed his eyes, and a tear came from under his closed lids. 

What the fuck did I just have to say to my child?

Then the irony.  The horrible irony came from his mouth "But I will marry a Christian!"

My faith.  My unwavering faith that Jesus died for our sins, making me a Christian, yet the very people oppressing his rights as a human.  "But I will marry a Christian." 

I can't go to the place that having a baby born to you, with a difference that is so out of the box it causes pure harit has.  Look at whatever kid you see around you.  If they just happen to be different to you, you want to take their human rights away?  I can't do that.  I raised a baby, to a child with kindness, compassion, empathy, caring, understanding, humour, good will, and grace.  That child has friend from 1-100.  He has friends that don't speak the same language.  He has care for his family and sibling as any mother could only dream.  I have the perfect child, who was born different, and even though he would be a better ambassador for the world than anyone for the job, we judge him.

We were on a flight and flying in business class.  At some point Haven leaned over and asked "Why are so many people giving me mean looks?"  I told him most kids don't fly in the front, they are just upset." 
Haven's answer was "Does it cost more to sit up here?  If people want to sit here, I will go back there no problem!" 
That's Haven.

"You can't get married."

There are scientific proofs of what a child needs to be a productive member of society, a good parent, a contributing member, and we did that.  We have a good role model of parenting success on paper.  We have a parent role model, a happy home.  We also have taught a faith and a way to live, and a way to treat others.  My child picks up trash, doesn't discriminate, he has more friends of nationalities other than his own, he actually doesn't know one of his own descent! 
My child.....  Knew a girl was being bullied at school, and made an agreement with is friends.  If his friends has a kid to play with, and this little girl doesn't, then he will go play with her.  THAT is my child.

Kim Kardashian, and all those stupid holly wood bitches can get married for 5 hours, and it not be an issue, but my child, who will love an honour a wife until death.  Will make the commitment as his parents have to cherish and honour his partner; raise his kids to be great people.. He can't get married, but everyone else can?

I never said it out loud.

I believe church and state need to be separate.  Period.  I didn't get "Transgender" until I had to live it, and now my empathy and sympathy for others only unfolded by a million.  People don't "Get" things they don't live", only cementing my stand as an empiricist.

You don't "Get" homosexuality? That's cool, you probably can say you aren't gay.  You don't get "transgender?"  I get that, as only 90 kids out of 21 million are transgender.  Cool,  The reality is your ability to "Get" things are probably only what you have experienced, and that not being one is understandable. It doesn't make it less real, and it doesn't make your ignorance OK. 

We are just who we are.  I have learned that and many other lessons from a kid unlike other kids. 
The day you have to tell your child they can't do something because of the way they were born, I just ask for a moment of thought.  "You can't be you."  Other's don't accept ir. 

There are some stupid fucking Facebook groups about "Stop discrimination against tattooed people."  Are you fucking KIDDING me?  This is a choice!  You weren't born with neck tattoos!  I got a job first princesses, and if you didn't that's a bad judgement call.  STFU!

My child can't get married.  Even though he will support his children, love his wife, and honour his vows.  I have never had to to say that, and now I did, and now I finally feel what it feels to hate the world. 

My child will honour his wife, raise his kids to have respect, and be a contributing member of society.  He will fallow Jesus, and care for others, and because of the way he was born he can't do what his parents role modelled to do.  How the fuck is that right?

I held his hand and cried as I told him he can't get married.