I am Fatty Mc. Fat
So book sales on release date are poo. I took it completely personally. I thought my Aussie friends were really supporting me, when in reality they are being supportive in thought. But, but, I would have supported YOU, and bought YOUR book. I mean, why not think it's cool to even own a crap book written by a friend?
That's cool, but the book is $20. In Oz we blow our nose with $20. No literally, this country is so expensive you could never imagine. I went back to America and got a bagel and an orange juice at the airport. She said "That'll be $6.00" I was all "Did you get the orange juice?" She goes "You would pay $6.00 for a BAGEL??" Honey I would pay $6.00 for the orange juice!!!
It's cool, I'm trucking on.
I love food. That's why I wrote the book. For a skinny chick, my love affair with food has been an amazing love affair journey, and THAT is why I wrote the book.
I was raised right, and never drank soda, or had candy. I ate well, had a mother that cooked our meals. And then the divorce, and her work schedule, and my fathers absence, and my inability to think I am good enough, or pretty or thin. Then her death and my alcohol addiction. I went through the motions. I got heavy as a mammoth, and witnessed first hand what it feels like to be huge. I know the cycle of hating yourself for eating, then feeling so bad, and eating to make the pain stop. I got that.
In my new life with food, I don't just feed my mouth, or my stomach, I feed my soul. HOW CORNEY! I know, it's so true.
I LOVE food. I refuse to eat what I don't adore, and this was especially true when I was pregnant. My husband will never again buy me cake as I would cry if he got the wrong one. CRY!!!!!!
It's just so different and beautiful now. I cook what I desire, and feed my family food of love. Celery and rice cakes to keep up thin? Hell to the NO! I feed us amazing, exquisite, violently delicious food. I savour it, taste it, linger in it. When I have a 3 year old close her eyes with happiness of taste my heart jumps. "My mom is the best cooker!" I got tonight. I am the best cooker :)
I have gotten from a binge eating, eating for self loating, eating to numb myself Fatty Mc. Fat. To a thin, healthy, cook, who eats better than any chubba out there. I eat amazing, because I found a healthy relationship with food. DIETS DON'T WORK. Diets end. And being some super skinny size 2 is not a healthy outlook. "But I was a size 4 in high school." Bitch you 40, let that goooooo. Be happy with you now. Healthy doesn't need to be anorexic, it needs to be fed to content without excess. That's it. It looks different on all of us, so don't look at my size, or Miranda Kerr size, or your best friends size to be your size. Stop it. JUST STOP IT!!!!!
Eating.
Sometimes I don't eat breakfast because I'm not hungry in the morning. That's it. Am I hungry? Nope? OK then not gonna eat. "80% of obese people skip breakfast" Well I'm not obese. Are you skipping to "save calories?" Or are you not hungry? HUGE difference.
Lunch? I eat a sandwich, or half a sandwich, or tortilla and cheese, or whatever I want. But after half the meal I ask if I am really still hungry?
My dinner? My dinner is shared with my family. The epicenter of my universe. I will give them my love in this meal and it is planned with care.
I write weekly menus and shopping lists (In the friggin' book) So I save money and time enough to do this.
I pick food and recipes that make me salivate. Entice me to the center. THAT is what I cook.
I wont eat food that I don't love, and when I do I get teary. I get angry! We only have so many meals in our lives, so why not eat food that is amazing?!
I now have learned to cook, because after a few "omg Laura, this is psycho good." You get a kick from cooking. You keep trying harder and harder to get your family to give you the thumbs up and empty plate. It's OK to learn to cook for vanity! Hell, whatever works.
I don't look at food with my kids as other mothers do. Kids go through growth spurt and have ZERO misconceptions about food. No matter how good or high calorie, or fatty, they are programmed to eat when they are hungry, and stop when they are full. Their palates are virgin, and enjoy pure, clean tastes. YOU have issues with food, they don't. Some days my kids eat 4 meals a day, they finish their plates and ask for more. Most days, they eat 3 bites at dinner, and bring home half their lunch. This is normal. This is listening to your body, and only eating when you need. The Food Pyramid was made my Kellogg. If you can't digest that sentence, please ponder it until you do. A corporation profiting in FOOD, can not tell you what to eat. Anyways it's batshit upside down. Fuck a food pyramid. Fuck a Three meal a day and 2 snack consisting of 3 veg, 4 fruit, 1 meat diet. You eat what your body tells it to when it tells it to. Emotions have no place in food. Except when you can love it.
When you love every meal you eat, you are never deprived by a smaller portion, because your brain knows the next meal will be just as amazing as the last. This is the best food you ever had? That's cool! Next meal will be just as good, so eating more than you need is unnecessary.
I decided not to be a celebrity chef, or a nutritionist, or a doctor. I am just a mom, and an ex-fatty, that figured it out with non-bullshit ideas and ways to live. That's it.
I hope you can get to this place too. And if you need help? laurasfoodfight.com, and $20 can help!
Merry Christmas!
Laura
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