Right...
Look at your prep kid, and tell them they can't get married.
Haven can sit in the front seat now. He's 7. I was like 5 when I could sit in the front, Your mom was your seat belt with her arm out. I remember as I have siblings and that was a death match, cage fight, gauging each others eyes out to sit in the front. He's cool, as he's got 4 years on his sister. Haven can sit in the front. Actually I love it. I can look at him. I can see my kid as I drive! When we are alone and driving together we have the best time. My best times, are when we put on loud music, I drive and dance, Haven mocks me looking like a mentally challenged rhino. Whatever Haven, I was SO cool.... emphasis on WAS.
Today was hard.
Macklemore has this song."Same Love." It's about being gay. And Haven loves it. I am pretty sure the reason was completely sub-conscious as, until our drive he really didn't get what it ment. He has a stupid 7 year old playlist that when we are alone in the car he requests in order.
1. "Party Rockers" Red Foo"
2. "Red Hands" I don't remember who
3. "Same Love." Macklemore,
We got to number three, and we drove as usual. Today was to the pet shop.
" You always grab my hand when we listen to this song! You grab my hand at the exact same part!!!" Haven said. He was annoyed.
I do. Every time she says " I can't change, even if I tried." I grab his hand when he's in the front seat. I grab his hand because of every bigoted, horrible, ignorant rant I have ever heard about homosexual and transgender people. I grab his hand because my kid can't change who he is and always has been. Even if he tried, even if he wanted to.
"Why do you do that?"
I pulled into the pet shop parking lot, song still in the background.
"Do you know what this song is about?" I asked
"No." He said, with very curious eyes.
For the first time in my life, I had to look at my 7 year old and tell him. "You can't get married."
My eyes filled with tears and my heart sunk to my stomach. What the fuck did I just say to him. Haven looked blankly at me. His head cocked to the side, and then his eyes closed. " This song is about the fact that, because you were born who you are, people like you can't get married."
I had never said it out loud.
Haven did as all men do. He sucked it in. He turned his head, and closed his eyes, and a tear came from under his closed lids.
What the fuck did I just have to say to my child?
Then the irony. The horrible irony came from his mouth "But I will marry a Christian!"
My faith. My unwavering faith that Jesus died for our sins, making me a Christian, yet the very people oppressing his rights as a human. "But I will marry a Christian."
I can't go to the place that having a baby born to you, with a difference that is so out of the box it causes pure harit has. Look at whatever kid you see around you. If they just happen to be different to you, you want to take their human rights away? I can't do that. I raised a baby, to a child with kindness, compassion, empathy, caring, understanding, humour, good will, and grace. That child has friend from 1-100. He has friends that don't speak the same language. He has care for his family and sibling as any mother could only dream. I have the perfect child, who was born different, and even though he would be a better ambassador for the world than anyone for the job, we judge him.
We were on a flight and flying in business class. At some point Haven leaned over and asked "Why are so many people giving me mean looks?" I told him most kids don't fly in the front, they are just upset."
Haven's answer was "Does it cost more to sit up here? If people want to sit here, I will go back there no problem!"
That's Haven.
"You can't get married."
There are scientific proofs of what a child needs to be a productive member of society, a good parent, a contributing member, and we did that. We have a good role model of parenting success on paper. We have a parent role model, a happy home. We also have taught a faith and a way to live, and a way to treat others. My child picks up trash, doesn't discriminate, he has more friends of nationalities other than his own, he actually doesn't know one of his own descent!
My child..... Knew a girl was being bullied at school, and made an agreement with is friends. If his friends has a kid to play with, and this little girl doesn't, then he will go play with her. THAT is my child.
Kim Kardashian, and all those stupid holly wood bitches can get married for 5 hours, and it not be an issue, but my child, who will love an honour a wife until death. Will make the commitment as his parents have to cherish and honour his partner; raise his kids to be great people.. He can't get married, but everyone else can?
I never said it out loud.
I believe church and state need to be separate. Period. I didn't get "Transgender" until I had to live it, and now my empathy and sympathy for others only unfolded by a million. People don't "Get" things they don't live", only cementing my stand as an empiricist.
You don't "Get" homosexuality? That's cool, you probably can say you aren't gay. You don't get "transgender?" I get that, as only 90 kids out of 21 million are transgender. Cool, The reality is your ability to "Get" things are probably only what you have experienced, and that not being one is understandable. It doesn't make it less real, and it doesn't make your ignorance OK.
We are just who we are. I have learned that and many other lessons from a kid unlike other kids.
The day you have to tell your child they can't do something because of the way they were born, I just ask for a moment of thought. "You can't be you." Other's don't accept ir.
There are some stupid fucking Facebook groups about "Stop discrimination against tattooed people." Are you fucking KIDDING me? This is a choice! You weren't born with neck tattoos! I got a job first princesses, and if you didn't that's a bad judgement call. STFU!
My child can't get married. Even though he will support his children, love his wife, and honour his vows. I have never had to to say that, and now I did, and now I finally feel what it feels to hate the world.
My child will honour his wife, raise his kids to have respect, and be a contributing member of society. He will fallow Jesus, and care for others, and because of the way he was born he can't do what his parents role modelled to do. How the fuck is that right?
I held his hand and cried as I told him he can't get married.
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