The History

I don't think I realised until she died what she really bestowed in me.
My single mother, working 2 jobs, instilled values that seemed so normal and everyday. I believed everyone of my age was getting the same lessons at home.

My mother- was amazing.

I now like to speak about your reality being the life you had   growing up.  What you were raised  is what is "normal" to you.  If your parents were divorced, you may not highlight marriage as a priority.  You may see it as dispensable. If your parent's are married for 50 years, marriage may mean something else. 

Religion, racism, alcohol, politics.  What you were brought up with is your normal. 

I was raised different.

My mother kept her last name.  We had a HORRIBLE hyphenated last name that was in total 26 letters long.  I spelled the alphabet to write my name because she refused to take her husbands name. This feminism to me was normal.  Sorry, but when I met a man with a great last name I cheered!

  She was an atheist, who did the most amazing thing by refusing to tell us her beliefs, but challenged us to find out for ourselves. With this, I searched.  High, and low, and in and out to find what I believed, not what she believed.

She worked 2 jobs, and put herself through school and grad school.  She was a single mother of three that worked and gave more than anyone I know.  She loved us.

The most amazing thing she did, which I didn't know until now; was she raised us open-minded.  My mother had gay friends, when gay people were on Oprah.  " I slept with a man!"  It was a talk show subject! 

We were raised in Frog Town, a predominantly black area, and I was a minority at my school.  This was my normal.  Being gay, or another color than myself....was normal. 

The problem, if you want to call it that, is that as I grew up, I didn't get that things like racism, or hatred toward a group because of anything beside their own hate...eg the KKK.  It's OK to hate a group that hates yea? Even existed?  I wasn't rasied to hate ANYONE.  I knew gay people, and adopted people, black people, and people of religions I can't even spell.  It was a non issue since I could speak.

By 8 I was shocked that racism even existed! 

I didn't believe people could dislike another group of people, because I was raised so well not to see things like that. 
He's an ass because he's an ass.  It has nothing to do with him being gay, black, Asian, Jewish or Indian.  THAT dude is an ass.
 
With her gone now, I wonder where she got it.  I wonder where that seed was planted in her, because I am sure she wasn't raised with it.  How could she have been?

So I get the different kid. The kid some people hate, and the kid some people don't "get" and I know God did that to keep him alive.  This all started before me, and with my mother. 

I wish I could talk to her about it now as an adult.  Say thank you! 

When people tell me "Thank you for supporting your child" I just fall over.  Well fucking "duh" I support him., but it isn't the case for most people. 

I did it too though.  I put Haven in the most diverse school I could, and plan to raise them all the way my mother did with that regard.  I just still always wonder why sexuality, race, religion are still even a "THING."  Why the fuck do we spend so much time on such stupid shit?  We eat, poop, die exactly the same.  We are one. 

We have so much to do right now as a generation of living beings, that I can't believe things like this Arizona bigot law even comes up.  REALLY?  What year are we in? 

I don't see the world as other people see it.

Thank you, to my mom.  I wish I would have known earlier how teaching your children equality and love changes an entire nation. 

I love you....unless you suck.  No other conditions apply to that.

Laura