Joy, love, goodness, kindness, patience, self control, peace, faithfulness, gentleness.....

I am learning, not "Why me?"  But "What do you want me to learn from this?"

I am also learning that every temptation, or obstacle- gives you the ability to chose one of these gifts.  I have to chose to react with joy, love, goodness, kindness, patience, self control, peace, faithfulness and gentleness.  It's a choice.............That sucks.

My new obstacle is that I just got 250 books from the printer, completely screwed up.  $2,300 worth or recyclable paper in my garage.  Worthless.

I tried to react with patience and self control.  I tried kindness, and it didn't work.  They refuse to do anything.

During this book- I hired a photographer who agreed to photograph for portfolio work.  After shooting, holding my pictures hostage- demanded $2500...... Really?

I got an editor, who I trusted-charging me $2500 when I come to find out the going rate is about $600..... Really?

Now, the printer.... and I'm sad.  

So I cried out "What lesson do you want me to learn from this?"
First thing that comes to mind is that I need to protect myself, make wiser decisions, be more careful, get contracts?  I hate that the level of integrity in 2013 in the whole of the world is so low, you need contracts!  Why is trusting people such a bad virtue to carry?  I trust people therefor I am an idiot.

Why does this lesson have to cost my husband so much money?  It makes him give me the look of disappointment.  That mom look, of "Really?"  Not anger, he respects that I trust people, but I am sure he is over getting stuck with the bill. 

Do I just give up?  I worked sooooo hard.  This idea came when I woke up one morning and I was compelled to write this.  Fully out of my control, giddy with excitement, grabbed a notebook and filled it laughing and screaming how excited I was to do this.  I hit some road blocks, but pushed my ass through.... I am pretty sure the lesson is not to give up on the last lap.

I wish I could teach my children trust.  I would NEVER do this to you, so I assume you wouldn't do it to me.  That's not the case.

Joy, Love, Peace, Kindness, Goodness, Patience, Self Control, Faithfulness, Gentleness.............

God what am I supposed to learn from this?